Friday, January 1, 2010

Twilight Fan Field Guide & Happy New Year Wishes!  

After spending lots and lots...and well, lots of time perusing the internet for Twilight related articles, photos, blogs, message boards etc... I have come to realize that there are many different types of Twilight fans. We are all so different in fact one could argue that each 'type' of fan is a different species. We have different habits, different tastes, different's really[ very fascinating.

Being a science based individual I like my types (be it personality or species) described, grouped and then labeled for further study. Working in veterinary medicine has me even more inclined to label these specific "species" in a Latin-based format.

So, sitting here at work with nothing better to do than whip up a quick field guide for you Twilight fans out you go.

Meyerus Puritas:
This is a Twilight fan who is 100% true to the books. They do not stray from Stephenie Meyer's written word no matter what. For them fanfiction is a dirty word as they detest anything out of character. In the most extreme cases, the Meyerus Puritas is even agaist the movie version and refuses to watch it due to deviations from the book.

Filmfanias Nonreadus:
The Filmfanias Nonreadus is a Twilight fan who has only seen the movie. They have not read the book for whatever reason and don't plan on it despite encouragment from friends and other Twilight fans. Filmfanias Nonreadus is not a reader of fanfiction and often asks really irritating questions on message boards in regards to the movie vs. book. Often times these questions that are asked could be answered if they would just read the fucking books already.

Twibailus Populas:
This is a Twilight fan who read the books when they first came out and loved them - but as soon as they became popular they immediately changed their mind and decided that it just wasn't cool to like Twilight anymore. They are commonly found lurking on Blogs and Message Boards posting things like, "I read Twilight WAY before it was popular and I just don't think it's that great anymore."

Twipopulas Avoidus:

This is someone who is avoiding becoming a Twilight fan because "everyone else is doing it." This person probably knows they will fall in love with the series but because it is already popular and not "edgy" and "origional" enough for them, they avoid all things Twilight and are often found making fun of those who do love it.

Diehardus Twifanis:

This is a Twilight fan who loves everything Twilight. They wear their Team Edward shirt everywhere, they have Twilight paraphenilia everywhere in their home, they have gone to Forks and Portland to do the Twi-tours (or are currently planning their trip), they celebrate Twilight character birthdays, they check blogs religiously every day, and they just got two new puppies and named them Edward and Bella.

Twifanis Inhideus:
The Twifanis Inhideus loves Twilight as much as the Diehardus Twifanis, but doesn't want to be quite as open about his/her obsession. They tend to hang out with one foot still in the Twilight closet, comfortable with their subdued level of PDTO (Public Display of Twilight Obsession). Alcohol tends to change the behavior of the Twifanis Inhideus to temporarily mirror that of a Diehardus Twifanis so in some situations the two can easily be misidentified.

Twifanis Denialus:
This species of Twilight fan is in complete denial in regards to their true level of obession. They have read the series and enjoyed it immensely but feel that they are either too old, too cool, or too embarassed to even admit the truth to themselves let alone the public. The Twifanis Denialus can often be found lurking on blogs and message boards. They may use the message boards to 'test the waters'. This species most often becomes a Twifanis Inhideus or Twipopulas Avoidus at some point.

Twifanis Normalus:

Rare, but they are out there. The Twifanis Normalus likes Twilight, but that is it. They are not obsessed and they don't hate it, they read it and enjoyed it and that is where it ends for them. Diehardus Twifanis will often try his/her hardest to convert Twifanis Normalus mostly because Diehardus Twifanis cannot relate. There are varying degrees of Twifanis Normalus, and some may even exhibit some Twifanis Inhideus tendancies on occasion.

TwiBlogis Writus:

This species of Twifan has taken it upon themselves to actually record their feelings on Twilight in a daily/weekly/monthly blog or webcast/podcast TwiBlogis Writus spends unprecidented hours researching online for photos and related Twilight news as well as writing articles/blogs about random Twilight topics. Many of them are also Diehardus Twifanis or at least Twifanis Inhideus. TwiBlogis Writus tends to attract and create more TwiBlogis Writis as well as help Twifanis Inhideus come out of the closet.

TwiTwius Useus:
This is a name for the Twifan who prefaces every word they can with 'Twi'. TwiTwius Useus is often a TwiBlogis Writus as well. Some Meyerus Puritas find the TwiTwius very irritating and refuse to preface anything with 'Twi' no matter how clever it may sound.

Museis Effectis:

This phenomenon is named after the popular band Muse that was frequently credited in the Twilight novels as being Stephenie Meyer's inspiration while writing. Whenever a band, clothing style, clothing line, fruit, candy, hairstyle, town, saying, etc... finds itself connected to Twilight - regardless of how loose that connection may be - it immediately becomes popular and successful because of obssessed Twilight fans who want to immerse themselves in everything and anything Twilight.

Fanficias Twiritus (Readus):

Fanficias Twiritus is a species of Twilight fan that spends hours upon hours of their personal time writing Twilight related fanfiction. There is also a sub-species of the FanFicias Twiritus called the Fanficias Readus who spends an equally extensive amount of time reading the fanfiction of Fanficia Twiritus. The two often blur lines of identification when Fanficias Readus decides to write his/her own fanfiction.

Vampirius Sparklaphillic:
Is a species that loves vampires who sparkle, namely the vampires in the Twilight saga.

Vampirius Sparklaphobic:
The Vampirius Sparklaphobic is a species of vampire fan that afraid of or hates sparkly vampires. Members of this grouping are usually found bashing the Twilight Vampires at any opportunity.

Robulus Pattzaphilliac:

The Robulus Pattzaphilliac are common amongst all Twilight fan types. They are particularly fond of the actor Robert Pattinson, and often obsess over doing dirty dirty things to him. RPatz is encouraged to use caution when approached by a Robulus Pattzphilliac.

If you guys can come up with anymore good ones comment away!
We'd lurve to hear them!!!


And just for fun I made a quick little video to express our thanks to everyone who made 2009 a very TWILIGHTY year. Life really would suck without all of our Followers and our bloggy friends and our daily Twilight enablers.

Here's to 2010 being even more amazing.



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9 comments: to “ Twilight Fan Field Guide & Happy New Year Wishes!


    I must say this post is pretty epic. I never really realized how many different types of fans are out there. I'd say I'm a cross between Diehardus Twifanis, TwiBlogis Writus, Fanficias Twiritus (Readus)and I'm most definitely a Robulus Pattzaphilliac. =)


    Stoney, you have now idea how happy this post has made my inner nerd! She is currently rejoicing in the fact that we were able to incorperate the fine art of Binomial Nomenclature into our Twilight blog and is tapping her chin wondering if she should create a Dichotomous Key so that all of us crazies can properly identify specimens we find in the "wild"!

    Holy shit batman.......I didn't even google any of that....I'm such a nerd!


    this is fucking pure genius. Seriously. I absolutely love it!!


    I belong is several of those categories and I'm not sure whether I should be proud or freaked out?! EHHHH Fuck it! I IS PROUD!!


    OMG I fucking love this! You guys rock. I can't decide which category I fall into though!! Happy New Year!


    Hehe, love it. I'm mostly a Twifanus Inhideus, with a bit of Fanficias Twireadus. I don't hide the Twi-obsession, but I'm not exactly out-and-proud either. And I spend ridiculous amounts of time reading fanfic. So sad...

    @TwiNabler: Kindred People Come Over For Guinness Stout. I haven't done biology in seven years, but I still remember that mnemonic for classification. You are not alone in your nerdiness.

    And for the record, I was a Muse fan before I was a Twilight fan. XP


    @Banshee......mnemonic devices are the shit! You all had much cooler phrases growing up across the pond! There's no way a midwestern suburban american school would ever let us mention Guinness!

    @Susie.....I'm proud also, but a bit freaked out at the same time due to the level of my "proudness"

    Thanks everyone, you are all awesome!

    VW Douse- as in I'd like to douse myself in essense of Rpattz!


    Loved this post! Found it from the link on Twitarded. I'm totally a Fanficias Readus and proud to admit it online only though. LOL!


    Wow, I fit into 3! #1 Robulus Pattzaphilliac without a doubt, #2 Fanficias Twireadus because I may or may not be obsessed, and #3 Vampirius Sparklaphillic no explanation necessary here.

    Fuckawesome post chickies!