It is official...

WE ARE GOING TO FFFFFOOOORRRKKKSSSS!!!!

He always looks angry...

Yes we've done it again.

We've made total asses of ourselves for the good of Fandom...

If you don't remember The Greatest and Best Charlie Swan Photo Shoot you really should go take a quick peek. Even if it is just to check out how HOT Nabs looks with a pornstache! Tres magnifique!

We had such a great time doing that photo shoot we knew we just had to do another one but honestly, we were stumped...no other character has a signature look quite as easy to recognize, not to mention as downright glorious as Billy Burkes 'stache in the Twilight Saga. I mean, all things considered the 'stache could have a movie all on its own.

Mr. Robert Pattinson...kinda.

Now this photo shoot was a just a little different than the Charlie Swan shoot. We didn't do it outside in the woods with Nabs wearing nothing but a pair of fishnets and fishing boots (although that was a shit-ton of fun and I would do it again anytime).

Nope, this time she is fully clothed...but I think you will probably recognize a few of her outfits.

We have two avenues for you to enjoy our little photo shoot.

1. We have put together a video with all of the photos backed by an amazing version of the Tenacious D hit "Tribute" sung by moi, with lyrics written especially for this set of photographs.

*The video also compares our photos with the originals.

**Video only has one 'F' bomb...pretty good considering I was the one singing.

-OR-

2. I will post the photos at the end of this blog for your viewing enjoyment without the kick ass soundtrack.

Let us know your thoughts, or if you have another Twilight Character you would like to see us "Tribute" shout it out!

Sure Elvis has a bit more Dapper Dan hair grease in his sexy locks, but that long in front - messy wave - panty melting hairdo was a dead ringer for somebody else I knew...


I looked up and smiled at Jodie. "He has Robert Pattinson hair."

"NOOOOOOO!!!!" Jodie screamed mortified that I just compared her Precious to my Precious.

"You can NOT turn MY Elvis into something Twilight related!"

"I mean just look, even you have to admit that this hair is pretty RPatz-ish." I held open the magazine and pointed to one of the full page photos.

"No, Robert Pattinson ripped off Elvis's hair!" She yelled grabbing her magazine from my hands before I could taint it any more than I already had.

I thought about that for a minute. She was probably right. Elvis did come first, so in theory he would be the true pioneer of the smexy bouffant. So today I would like to properly honor Elvis Presley.

As usual...we spoof for you!

I'm sure we've all heard the incredibly funny "Real Men of Genius" radio commercial series from Bud Light beer. If not here is some linkage so you can get yourselves up to speed...



Well, we couldn't help it...we needed to spoof these commercials.

So, Nabs and I spent a few hours putting together our own version of these amazing little jingles...only we do it the way we all like it: Twilight style.

After spending lots and lots...and well, lots of time perusing the internet for Twilight related articles, photos, blogs, message boards etc... I have come to realize that there are many different types of Twilight fans. We are all so different in fact one could argue that each 'type' of fan is a different species. We have different habits, different tastes, different preferences...it's really[ very fascinating.

Being a science based individual I like my types (be it personality or species) described, grouped and then labeled for further study. Working in veterinary medicine has me even more inclined to label these specific "species" in a Latin-based format.

So, sitting here at work with nothing better to do than whip up a quick field guide for you Twilight fans out there...here you go.




Meyerus Puritas:
This is a Twilight fan who is 100% true to the books. They do not stray from Stephenie Meyer's written word no matter what. For them fanfiction is a dirty word as they detest anything out of character. In the most extreme cases, the Meyerus Puritas is even agaist the movie version and refuses to watch it due to deviations from the book.

Filmfanias Nonreadus:
The Filmfanias Nonreadus is a Twilight fan who has only seen the movie. They have not read the book for whatever reason and don't plan on it despite encouragment from friends and other Twilight fans. Filmfanias Nonreadus is not a reader of fanfiction and often asks really irritating questions on message boards in regards to the movie vs. book. Often times these questions that are asked could be answered if they would just read the fucking books already.

Twibailus Populas:
This is a Twilight fan who read the books when they first came out and loved them - but as soon as they became popular they immediately changed their mind and decided that it just wasn't cool to like Twilight anymore. They are commonly found lurking on Blogs and Message Boards posting things like, "I read Twilight WAY before it was popular and I just don't think it's that great anymore."

Twipopulas Avoidus:
This is someone who is avoiding becoming a Twilight fan because "everyone else is doing it." This person probably knows they will fall in love with the series but because it is already popular and not "edgy" and "origional" enough for them, they avoid all things Twilight and are often found making fun of those who do love it.

Diehardus Twifanis:
This is a Twilight fan who loves everything Twilight. They wear their Team Edward shirt everywhere, they have Twilight paraphenilia everywhere in their home, they have gone to Forks and Portland to do the Twi-tours (or are currently planning their trip), they celebrate Twilight character birthdays, they check blogs religiously every day, and they just got two new puppies and named them Edward and Bella.

Twifanis Inhideus:
The Twifanis Inhideus loves Twilight as much as the Diehardus Twifanis, but doesn't want to be quite as open about his/her obsession. They tend to hang out with one foot still in the Twilight closet, comfortable with their subdued level of PDTO (Public Display of Twilight Obsession). Alcohol tends to change the behavior of the Twifanis Inhideus to temporarily mirror that of a Diehardus Twifanis so in some situations the two can easily be misidentified.

Twifanis Denialus:
This species of Twilight fan is in complete denial in regards to their true level of obession. They have read the series and enjoyed it immensely but feel that they are either too old, too cool, or too embarassed to even admit the truth to themselves let alone the public. The Twifanis Denialus can often be found lurking on blogs and message boards. They may use the message boards to 'test the waters'. This species most often becomes a Twifanis Inhideus or Twipopulas Avoidus at some point.

Twifanis Normalus:
Rare, but they are out there. The Twifanis Normalus likes Twilight, but that is it. They are not obsessed and they don't hate it, they read it and enjoyed it and that is where it ends for them. Diehardus Twifanis will often try his/her hardest to convert Twifanis Normalus mostly because Diehardus Twifanis cannot relate. There are varying degrees of Twifanis Normalus, and some may even exhibit some Twifanis Inhideus tendancies on occasion.

TwiBlogis Writus:
This species of Twifan has taken it upon themselves to actually record their feelings on Twilight in a daily/weekly/monthly blog or webcast/podcast TwiBlogis Writus spends unprecidented hours researching online for photos and related Twilight news as well as writing articles/blogs about random Twilight topics. Many of them are also Diehardus Twifanis or at least Twifanis Inhideus. TwiBlogis Writus tends to attract and create more TwiBlogis Writis as well as help Twifanis Inhideus come out of the closet.

TwiTwius Useus:
This is a name for the Twifan who prefaces every word they can with 'Twi'. TwiTwius Useus is often a TwiBlogis Writus as well. Some Meyerus Puritas find the TwiTwius very irritating and refuse to preface anything with 'Twi' no matter how clever it may sound.

Museis Effectis:
This phenomenon is named after the popular band Muse that was frequently credited in the Twilight novels as being Stephenie Meyer's inspiration while writing. Whenever a band, clothing style, clothing line, fruit, candy, hairstyle, town, saying, etc... finds itself connected to Twilight - regardless of how loose that connection may be - it immediately becomes popular and successful because of obssessed Twilight fans who want to immerse themselves in everything and anything Twilight.

Fanficias Twiritus (Readus):
Fanficias Twiritus is a species of Twilight fan that spends hours upon hours of their personal time writing Twilight related fanfiction. There is also a sub-species of the FanFicias Twiritus called the Fanficias Readus who spends an equally extensive amount of time reading the fanfiction of Fanficia Twiritus. The two often blur lines of identification when Fanficias Readus decides to write his/her own fanfiction.

Vampirius Sparklaphillic:
Is a species that loves vampires who sparkle, namely the vampires in the Twilight saga.

Vampirius Sparklaphobic:
The Vampirius Sparklaphobic is a species of vampire fan that afraid of or hates sparkly vampires. Members of this grouping are usually found bashing the Twilight Vampires at any opportunity.

Robulus Pattzaphilliac:
The Robulus Pattzaphilliac are common amongst all Twilight fan types. They are particularly fond of the actor Robert Pattinson, and often obsess over doing dirty dirty things to him. RPatz is encouraged to use caution when approached by a Robulus Pattzphilliac.