Thursday, October 22, 2009

Power Panties...a Quest.  

A while back we wrote a blog about our fanfiction addiction in which we made a plea to all of you to give us some recommendations for more dirty Edward.

One of the gems you came up with was "The Office" by tby789

Holy mother of inappropriate office sex - you girls came through for us! I have to admit that I copied this one to a flash drive and brought it with me to work to read, and I spent many hours looking over my shoulder blushing – praying that no one was standing beside me reading the dirty dirty things going on between Ms. Swan and Mr. Cullen.

When I got the end I immediately texted T-Nabs:

SGP: Power Panties. That’s all I gotta say.

T-Nabs: I take it you finished The Office?

SGP: Oh yes. And WTF- it isn’t finished. I almost fucking kicked a puppy I was so pissed.

T-Nabs: Yeah that sucked…I know.

SGP: I need some Power Panties.

T-Nabs: I was thinking the same thing last week.

SGP: What constitutes a PP?

T-Nabs: Lace, ruffles, crotchless.

SGP: Crotchless? That makes me feel uncomfortable just thinking about it.

T-Nabs: You know you want some.

SGP: So you wanna?

T-Nabs: Go shopping for PP’s?

SGP: Hell yeah!

T-Nabs: I’m so in.

So began our hunt for power panties.

We had it all planned out.

It’s been raining in St. Louis for what feels like a month straight and our kids are starting to act like wild badgers that have been fed a pound of sugar and poked with sticks - so we thought this would be a perfect opportunity to leave them with Mr. T-Nabs for some indoor energy expending activities while we had a munchkin free girl’s day of PP shopping.

Dear god get us out of the effing house...

Of course nothing ever goes as planned.

On the morning of our planned PP adventure, one of T-Nabs kids puked all over herself so Idecided to leave mini-SGP with the in-laws because I was not too eager for her to bring home the funk. I gave mini-SGP her required kisses and hugs before dashing out the door super excited to go hunting for my very own PP's. I reached for the car door and pulled - locked. SHIT! Locked with the keys sitting in the middle console. Not really sure how that happened, something tells me mini-SGP was playing with the power locks again. Irritation beginning to bubble just under the surface, I stomped back into the house, grabbed the keys to my father-in-law's truck and drove up to Mr. SGPs work to get my spare. Why is it when you are excited about something the world always seems to be working against you?

An hour later than we planned, I finally arrived at T-Nab’s house and we were off to the only place we could think that would be sure to have power panties; the mall.

Our first stop was Hot Topic. Not so much for the power panties but for the New Moon Merch that was calling out to us like a siren from the display that was spilling out into the main hallway. We oogled over the Team Jacob and Team Edward paraphernalia and then nearly had mini TruBlood induced heart attacks when we saw they had Merlotte’s t-shirts.

"It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine."

Then we saw them... Power Panties.

Well, maybe not PP's exactly, but corsets with matching power-ish panties…close enough for us. T-Nabs grabbed one her size and asked the adorably sweet Hot Topic kid who was obviously smitten by her, to open a dressing room. Mr. Hot Topic dilly dallied by chatting us up and showing us pictures of himself on his phone dressed in a Zombie costume for Halloween as we attempted to slyly make our way to the dressing room without him noticing we also had a camera and a few other props in tow. Let me just say that sly is not a word you would normally use to describe us. We are loud, constantly laughing, and we tend to draw attention no matter where we are. Something told me that this whole sneaking around taking pictures process was going to be more difficult than we originally planned.

We finally lost Mr. Hot Topic long enough to snap a quickie for you:

T-Nabs is wearing the latest in the Hot Topic Power Panty collection....

Next we moved onto the once place you can easily find power panties at a mall in the mid-west:

We not only found an amazing assortment of pp’s here but also an awesome selection of Halloween costumes. While T-Nabs sifted through the costumes I pulled panties off the racks and showed them off to her asking for her opinion as to whether or not they fit PP criteria.

After much snickering and chatting up of the adorable salesgirl in a really lame attempt to keep suspicions that we were anything but serious about our possible purchases at bay... T-Nabs headed off to the dressing room, panties in tow, and camera tucked inconspicuously in her back pocket. I tried to talk loudly so that the one clerk in the empty store wouldn’t notice or hear the click-flash of the camera mixed with our giggles and constant stream of inappropriate conversation.

T-Nabs: Sorry this is taking me so long. I am having a hard time getting my clothes back on.

SGP: It’s ok, I know you forgot your helmet today.

T-Nabs: It’s these damn shoes. I forgot my velcro ones so it's taking me a while to figure them out.

SGP: (trying to contain snort's of laughter) Holy shit, I’m writing that down. That’s fucking funny.

While I’m sure we can all agree that T-Nab’s looks irritatingly hot in her PP’s (can you believe this MILF has three kids! WTF I got beat with the chunky stick after I had my ONE kid...fuck genetics, seriously) these panties were more on the expensive side ranging from $20-$45 per pair. Not really ready or willing to drop that kind of cash (we were hoping for $10 and's all about the Hamiltons baby) on underwear we were hoping to have ripped off of us in a moment of passion, we moved on.

We wandered around the mall for a bit longer stopping in places like Victoria's Secret (they are like ninja's in this store - there was no getting past these biatches to take pictures of us modeling PP's) - Forever 21 - DEB's....etc, but didn't find anything worth photographing or purchasing. We did stumble upon a bin-'o-panties and I felt like a pirate digging through an amazing array of lacy booty:


Sad that we were unsucessful thus far in our PP hunt, we left the mall and headed off to a store we were sure could provide power panties for the girl on a budget.

Yes, this is more like it!

Sure, they aren't super exotic or crotchles but they are lacy, pretty, and are sure to make a girl feel sexy.

And best of all if they get destroyed in the heat of the moment you are only out $4!

So we picked out some PP’s to take home and as we left the store happy that we now had our very own power panties – and some bills left in the wallet (Taco Bell anyone?) – we were faced with one last challenge. . .

How the FUCK were we going to get our husbands to rip these off of us in the heat of a softcore-dom/sub moment?

We’ll let you know how that goes.

As you can see, I am keeping guard at the door...

THE END...literally.

I love you all like Bella loves to fall on her ass.

What next?

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8 comments: to “ Power Panties...a Quest.


    "Holy Mother of Inappropriate Office Sex" ... LOL!!! Reading your post was like reliving our quest for the elusive Power Panties! We ended up at a Gordans...3 for 10 bucks. I couldn't stand the thought of 45 dollars getting ripped away-but 3.99, I could go for that!


    Oh.My.Gawd. You guys just made me spit my lunch out. Fucking hilarious! Why am I just now finding you? "kids are starting to act like wild badgers that have been fed a pound of sugar and poked with sticks" I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to describe Baby Swiss (who is taking terrible 2s to the nth degree of hell).

    I enjoyed your PP-search-to-the-death escapades and plan to tune in regularly :)

    Off to read some of your older stuff to see what fun I've been missing!


    @snarcastic M - I agree that I could definetly find something much more important to spend my money on than an over priced pair of panties that I just want to be ripped off.....what I wouldn't give for Bella's La Perla account!

    @ Robs Swiss Miss - Thank you...aaagh the bi-polar escapades of a two year daughter just turned 3 and she apparently didn't get the memo that terrible twos are supposed to cease and desist!

    wv - PUSNESTO...I somehow find that all of these words can be deemed naughty! It is like the Italian compound of the phrase pussy nest!


    OMG I am DYING - doubled over with laughter, at my desk, incapable of breathing except in short, snortly gasps... SO funny! And here I thought JJ and I made a spectacle of ourselves out and about - you win! lol... Great job modeling your finds, ladies!


    Told you The Office was the bomb-diggity!!!
    Do you think asking for PP's for christmas would be innappropriate?
    I totally think my mom-in-law would be thrilled to get them for me...........I've got to get her to read The Office...........
    I swear, the things you ladies go through just to entertain and enlighten us, Bless your hearts!


    @Snarc - PPs are the best. Have you had any luck suggesting to your s/o that you would like them removed in a less than traditional manner?

    @SwissMiss - Thanks so much for the compliments! We think we are funny, we're just glad other peeps do too!

    @STY - T-Nabs and I are notorious for making asses of ourselves in public...and true to form, we have photographed almost every event, I have quite the collection of blackmail material.

    @lilbitsolo - I think PPs for xmas is totally legit. And you are so welcome...


    First I have the Merlotte's shirt (squee) another True Blood fan!! Yeah!
    Second, I did the same thing when I read the office except I seriously contemplated some fuck me shoes too. Like High End Ones. Then I realized, they I manage a shopping center and I walk around in flats everyday and who the fuck am I wearing the fuck me shoes for? Oh, well but I did buy a crap load of pretty underwear and a new bra. That fanfic. Funny what it makes you do.


    I think I love you crazy chicks. True story.