Thursday, October 1, 2009
What is a girl to do after she has read the entire Twilight series cover to cover?
Do you start picking out your favorite scenes, and re-reading them to get your fix?
The meadow, the first night Edward stayed over, the "almost Jacob kiss", the reunion in Volterra, the first night in Edwards new bed, the proposal......the list goes on but, I assure you my friends, it does end. So what's a girl to do?
Ahhh......enter the wonderful world of Fan-Fiction.
I first learned about this amazing new fantasy land from Miss SGP. When I initially came out of the twicloset to her and told her of my dilemma she countered by telling me that she was already a couple hundred pages deep in her very own fan-fiction that depicts Jacob "Post Dawn". She didn't much care for the way his story ended and gave it a big twist. She wouldn't - and still to this day hasn't let me read the damn thing - and in an attempt to keep my attentions otherwise preoccupied she encouraged me to read "Wide Awake". I eventually gave in, after all I was really dying to figure out what this reference to Unicorns was all about...
internet memory, and turned off my computer. That night, once he fell asleep, I stayed up with my computer until the wee hours of morning finishing the story...alone. I soon realized that the embarrassment that would come from his teasing for the blushing incident was nothing compared to the dilemma I now was facing.
Suddenly my fantasy Edward was all sorts of mixed up.
My sweet, gentlemanly Edward was suddenly cursing, rude, and horny. I myself had developed a much more flagrant use of the F bomb in my daily vocabulary. I decided that I really only had one solution. I would have to re-read Twilight.....AGAIN! (I know, what a shame...right?)
I was so excited that I was going to see my "real" Edward *SQEE* ....but NO!
I found myself very pissed off because he was so fucking polite! I mean...fuck...why can't he just smack Bella's fucking ass or pull her hair...or SOMETHING.
So, I hastily skipped forward to the meadow scene fairly sure it was my one sure place to get my real Edward tinglies! Sure as shit....fucking "Wide Awake" Edward had fucking stolen them from me too! Holy hell.....I just wanted my obscene Edward the fuck back!
After this new revelation, I informed SGP of my newest problem. I told her that I was now addicted to naughty Edward.
I also told her that I had made up my mind about her fan-fiction story. She is currently on the fence about referencing Jacob's hard-on during a make-out scene......I am now completely convinced that she should make as many references to Jacob's undulating member, his hard salami, his man-sized manicotti, or his wolf stick as possible!
(Side Note from Stoney: I think she has me convinced...still pondering it. Although, a tall muscular guy like Jacob has got to be packing some heat...right? How could you NOT notice it during a heavy makeout session.)
Until I can read the fruits of that labor, (I am hoping I can convince her of chapter by chapter posts) I am asking you, my Twifriends, for suggestions on my next Twifix! Do you have any favorites that you believe just simply must be read? I willingly admit that I am now addicted and seeking help to find more!
Keep in mind, I like my Edward dirty.
Love to my Twibitches!