Thursday, October 1, 2009

Has anyone seen my Edward?  

What is a girl to do after she has read the entire Twilight series cover to cover?

Do you start picking out your favorite scenes, and re-reading them to get your fix?

The meadow, the first night Edward stayed over, the "almost Jacob kiss", the reunion in Volterra, the first night in Edwards new bed, the proposal......the list goes on but, I assure you my friends, it does end. So what's a girl to do?

Ahhh......enter the wonderful world of Fan-Fiction.

I first learned about this amazing new fantasy land from Miss SGP. When I initially came out of the twicloset to her and told her of my dilemma she countered by telling me that she was already a couple hundred pages deep in her very own fan-fiction that depicts Jacob "Post Dawn". She didn't much care for the way his story ended and gave it a big twist. She wouldn't - and still to this day hasn't let me read the damn thing - and in an attempt to keep my attentions otherwise preoccupied she encouraged me to read "Wide Awake". I eventually gave in, after all I was really dying to figure out what this reference to Unicorns was all about...

Holy Shiitake mushrooms...there should be a warning label....

Let me set the scene for you...I had no clue what I was in for and proceeded to read "Wide Awake" while my husband and his best friend were sitting on the couch next to me watching a movie. My husband caught me shifting uncomfortably and blushing so I quickly erased my internet memory, and turned off my computer. That night, once he fell asleep, I stayed up with my computer until the wee hours of morning finishing the story...alone. I soon realized that the embarrassment that would come from his teasing for the blushing incident was nothing compared to the dilemma I now was facing.

Suddenly my fantasy Edward was all sorts of mixed up.

My sweet, gentlemanly Edward was suddenly cursing, rude, and horny. I myself had developed a much more flagrant use of the F bomb in my daily vocabulary. I decided that I really only had one solution. I would have to re-read Twilight.....AGAIN! (I know, what a shame...right?)

I was so excited that I was going to see my "real" Edward *SQEE* ....but NO!

I found myself very pissed off because he was so fucking polite! I mean...fuck...why can't he just smack Bella's fucking ass or pull her hair...or SOMETHING.

So, I hastily skipped forward to the meadow scene fairly sure it was my one sure place to get my real Edward tinglies! Sure as shit....fucking "Wide Awake" Edward had fucking stolen them from me too! Holy hell.....I just wanted my obscene Edward the fuck back!

After this new revelation, I informed SGP of my newest problem. I told her that I was now addicted to naughty Edward.

I also told her that I had made up my mind about her fan-fiction story. She is currently on the fence about referencing Jacob's hard-on during a make-out scene......I am now completely convinced that she should make as many references to Jacob's undulating member, his hard salami, his man-sized manicotti, or his wolf stick as possible!

(Side Note from Stoney: I think she has me convinced...still pondering it. Although, a tall muscular guy like Jacob has got to be packing some heat...right? How could you NOT notice it during a heavy makeout session.)

Until I can read the fruits of that labor, (I am hoping I can convince her of chapter by chapter posts) I am asking you, my Twifriends, for suggestions on my next Twifix! Do you have any favorites that you believe just simply must be read? I willingly admit that I am now addicted and seeking help to find more!

Keep in mind, I like my Edward dirty.

Can I have one please? Just one I won't be greedy.

Love to my Twibitches!

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12 comments: to “ Has anyone seen my Edward?


    Um, can we back up a little bit....Stoney is writing a Jacob Fanfic, AND WON'T SHARE?!?! And is on the fence about discussing his
    "wolf stick" (that gave me the chuckles)? WHAT IN THE WORLD, WOMAN? Have pity on me, do you not know how much enjoyment I would get out of such a story? I think I may pass out....breathe, Misty, breathe.

    Ahem. Okay, sorry about that. Now, I am totally with you on "Wide Awake". Damn, that was some gooooood reading. I felt a little dirty for liking it so much, but I'm okay with that.

    The Fallen is really really good, not very much smut in it, but the story is awesome so far. I just wish I wasn't such a speed reader, I can't seem to make them last.
    The Office has some GREAT sex, and Edward is such an aggressive asshole in it, but in a totally sexy way.


    Welcome to the fucking FF world full of the Darkwards, Domwards, etc. And I love Wide Awake too, really she is so talented!!

    The Office is awesome, you will like the Beautiful Bastard.

    Clipped Wings & Inked Armor : Tattward - I love this story. It´s heartbreaking but Tattward is amazing.

    The Submissive (BPOV) and The Dominat (EPOV) - Domward, really hot sexy story. The good thing those two are complete. One of the hottest written sex scenes i have read so far...

    I have tons of other good stories for you, just ask me, would be happy to recommend you more:)


    Sorry, an edit to my first post: It wasn't The Fallen, it was The Fallout.


    ooh, found a new one tonight, it is really really good. Called The Arrangement. Bella, Edward and Jasper. YUM! I may finish this one all tonight.....


    Yes Misty...I have a fanfic...eventually I will share. Its just a little bit like letting people see you naked you know? Makes me feel all vulnerable. There are so many talented fanfic writers out there and I have myself convinced I'm no where near their caliber so...I'm nervous.
    T-Nabs is getting closer to convincing me to post chapter by chapter.

    OME MrsV! Thanks for the great fanfic recs! I can't wait to start diving into that.

    I heart me some Darkward.


    I feel ya sweetie, I think it is awesome that you are even taking a chance writing it. I know you will feel the love once you are comfortable enough to share :)
    Now, you MUST check out this new one I mentioned tonight. The Arrangement is blowing my mind...there is some serious group love going on ....


    Wow...thanks Mrs. Vanquish for the recs. I can't seem to get enough fan fic now that I have started! My hubby has started noticing the effects of "naughty Edward" in the bedroom. He's all, "sure stay up as late as you want reading your stories....I'll meet you when you come to bed" {shooting a panty dropping CROOKED SMILE)....that is a topic completely unto itself.

    I had actually seen a comment on the CA IA on Twitarded and decided to check it out. Highly dissappointed that it is still in the works. I told Stoney she had to read it......texting

    me - read Clipped Wings Inked Armor, Edward is a tattoo artist and Alice is piercing clits need i say more?

    Stoney - I don't know if I can get through that one, I'm not into clitoral mutulation so much!

    Has anyone heard of one called "The List"? That one was pure sex from beginning to end!

    I'm going to need some help getting the "wolf stick" to come out and play....

    Thanks again ladies, good night!


    Oh yeah...the Office...Edward as an agressive asshole....why do I love it so much when he is behaving so badly? Twilight Edward is such a freaggin pussy to me now. Thank you fan fiction writers everywhere for giving me a place to indulge myself! I never knew what I was missing.


    The Office....YUM! I actually went out and bought myself some "power panties" last I am trying to convience the husband to RIP them off...LOL!

    Wide that the one with the cookie references for titles? I think I started that one and got to about chapter 6 but there wasn't any I stopped. Does it get better?


    Yes it gets better, but now having read some seems to be lacking in the hot and heavy department.

    Trust me though when I say that there are definetly some scenes that will get your heart pumping! I'm glad that it was my first because it was a great story, but now that I am addicted to my naughty Edward I don't know if I would have been able to make it through all the fluff either!

    So Power Panties you say.....I am going to start the office tonight for sure!


    Arrrgh I wish I had more time to sit on the computer and read. I have been copying - pasting - and emailing myself FanFics so I can read them on the sly at work *slaps my own hand* b/c I'm the boss lady.

    verification word: Nolycho...WTF?


    My name is T-Nabs and I am a fan fiction addict!!! Holy Mother of Power Panties......I just read the office.....Wow....Great rec! I can't wait to see how that one turns out! I can't wait to get my Domward fix tomorrow! Now off to bed, I have to be up with three children in less time than I would like already!

    I think that I might have to start a little savings fund of my own just so that I can go get myself some "Power Panties"

    Thank you Mrs. Vanquish for the juicy rec!