Monday, March 15, 2010

Google me Twilight...  

Hey everyone!

Sorry we've been MIA for the past two weeks.

We had some RL bullshit to sift through but now we are back and ready to climb back onto that sparkle peen. Yes you have heard correctly, we are ready to make funnies for you!

I just want to say thank you for all of the concerned DM's and Twitter message's and emails we received from all of you. It really means a lot to us that you have got our backs no matter what. I think I speak for T-Nabs and myself when I say, "YOU BITCHES RULE!!!!" I don't even think our family was quite as supportive as all of you have been.

We have some fun stuff up our sleeves for you but today I have just a little somethin' somethin'.

So I spend a shit ton of time on my computer...or my phone...ok, let me rephrase; I spend a shit ton of time on the INTERNET.

My husband calls my phone a tumor...I am never without it. Even the other day I get a gmail Chat from Latchkey Wife that said: Are you ever NOT on ghcat? No LKW...I am ALWAYS online...ready and available for ANYTHING. I even Twitter in my sleep...ok, not really but if I could I would.

As a result of too much time spent online, I have developed a little time killing habit of google image searching completely random shit.

I just plug in the first thing that pops in my head and sift through the pictures. The results often leave me grossed out, pissed off, pissing my self laughing, or just confused. One thing I started to notice is that no matter what I was searching for...something Twilight related almost always popped up.

I started to wonder if Google was just starting to read my mind? Or maybe my search history was playing games with me. So I deleted my search history, deleted cookies and temporary Internet files and tried again.

Sure enough. Twilight.

So I thought I would play a little game. I searched for the most wacky, un-Twilight related stuff I could think of and then tell you how many pages it took me to find something Twilighty.

To keep it real, I will also include a screen shot of my discoveries.

Search Word: Ass 5-0
How many Pages in: 15
Picture of Rob and KStew at MTV Awards.

Search Word: Chapstick Condom
How many pages in: 46
Photo of woman holding apple in Twilight cover pose.

Search Word: Elvis Blubber
How many pages in: 22
Picture of a man singing to a GIANT constipated Edward head.

Search Word: Ham Spunk
How many pages in: 2...does anyone else find it funny that "ham spunk" was only 2 pages in?
A fanfiction banner.

Search Word: Fish Twat
How many pages in: 37
Robert Pattinson interview screen shot.

Search Word: Taint Wipe
How many pages in: 3
Lookie,'s those infamous Twitarded panties.

Search Word: Pig Vagina
How many pages in: 16
New Moon Jacob promo poster.

Search Word: I Farted
How many pages in: 25
Robert Pattinson on Red Carpet.

Of course, not all of my searches got results.

Here are a few of my rejects:

Dinosaur Fart
Paper Towel Slut
Gunt Sack
Arrest that Donkey
Mr. Duck Lumps
*All of which I think would make fabulous random t-shirts.

So, if you are bored and want to do some searches of your own I would LOVE to hear what you come up with. Remember to get rid of your cookies and temporary Internet files...cheating is forbidden.

I love you all!

Stay tuned for our first PODCAST!!!! OMFG!!! SQUEE!!!!

S to the GP

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14 comments: to “ Google me Twilight...


    We tried this before with dog sex and got it in 12 pages.
    Jacob black obviously..

    So funny when your bored.

    Podcast? Squeeee! indeed.


    I am not sure if I am more disturbed on how you picked your words or on how Twilight fits with the words you chose ;) LMAO Either way it is a ton of fun.


    LMFAO! Dude, you have issues....

    But I still love you!

    WV: vaingl - I have no words.

  • would know nothing about the Podcast. Nothing. Shhh...

    @Dafne...girl you know me. I would def. be way more disturbed by wtf Twilight stuff is doing attached to some of those search words.

    @LKW...LOOOVVEEE YOUUUUUU!!!! *creepy stare*


    That's just plain mean that a Jacob poster shows up for pig vagina. LMAO!

    I'm glad you t-waffles have been able to come up for air, and hope life is treating you right!


    Holy Fuck. LMMFAO!!!!!

    I tried 'jizz gravy' (well I searched it) and while I didn't find anything Twi, I did learn how to give myself an awesome new kind of facial.

    PODCAST!!!! Yes, please. Nowish!

    ham spunk.



    @Z - I know wtf right? Why Jacob? He never did anything to a pig vaginia. I'm actually totally shocked ANYTHING showed up under pig vagina. I was skyping with Poptarrts when I found it. And I was like...YES!! THERE IT IS!!! OH MAH GAWD!!!

    I am glad we came up for air too. It's lonely in the TwiSoup RL rehab faclity.


    LMFAO, that is tooooo funny! I'll have to try it. Hey, what I'm dying to know was the 100 Monkeys concert? Haven't you already gone to two by now? Details!!!


    Oookay I wanna Mr Duck Lumps on black in Xl and a Gunt Sack on skinny rib ladies (I fucking wish) on red. Actually make them both on black with red letters in XL as I have ma-hoosive boobage and they gotta be v neck. I don't do no round neck t shirt shit, boobage gotta breathe people, gotta breathe!!!

    PMSL-word verif is shingle, man I had shingles once and it fookin hurt!!!


    bwahahaha I just did jizzy gravity and got a shit load of metal bands mentioned, astrology for dummies, kate bush and on page 5 a picture of Rob on Empire magazine for New Moon-go figure pmsl jizzy gravity


    Ok Ladies.......I have come up for some temporary air!

    Stoney, I have tears as usual. Everyone, this was the first post that was put up as a complete solo effort by Twisoup. That shit totally brightened my day! I have spent two weeks in an almost Amish (how the fuck do you spell that b/c it looks like it's missing a couple of letters)...oh well....Amish existance. My inlaws do not have internet. I haven't had the chance to really go anywhere with public wifi. I have complete Twilight withdrawal symptoms.......I'm thinking I need to come up with some sort of no man's land twilight withdrawal post. Anyways, I digress!

    Yes, thank you everyone for your concerns. A lil' update. Mr. T and I are actually getting the keys to our house tomorrow. We are planning to rent for a year until we have more certain plans! Finding a house to rent on short notice is a full time job! But.....wahoooooooooo! Mr. T and I are also planning to make it up to the wireless store soon to get me one of those fancy dancy new phones with internet. You can bet your edward lovin asses that I'm getting a plug in for my computer for internet while I'm there. Seriously, these past two weeks have been so strange! I just remembered last night when I was falling asleep that there was maybe supposed to be an eclipse trailer on Remember Me. You know some serious shit is going on in RL when you don't remember such an event! And holy shit Stoney and I still haven't been able to go see remember me! What the Fuck......I'm living in an alternate universe that sucks monkey balls! As Stoney said, things are on the mend and lots of funnies on the way!

    So thanks again everyone, and Stoney I love you like Pattzy loves hot pockets! Life just gets all wonky when your not around! HAMBURGER!!!!!!!


    @T-Nabs "She's alive!"(doing my best Mike Newton impression). I was beginning to worry that you had been carried off by zombies, resembling your mother. If you knew Mommy Any Mouse, you'd know I'm only half kidding. I'm glad everything's working out, and you will be set up in the TwiSoup Palace in no time (complete with the internets!). Congrats on getting one of them newfangled smart phones. Mine is so old it practically has a rotary dial. The only way it's getting replaced is if I run over it with the car, like the last one. Don't ask.


    @z- that's funny.....I actually ran over my favorite watch with my car once. At Stoney's house just a couple of months ago I managed to run over my whole diaper bag. No one is safe if standing within a 10 foot radius of my vehicle!

    I'm in the process of moving my stuff in slowly today. This weekend Mr. T is going to do the heavy lifting. Until then, we are all going to camp out on the floor. WAAAHHHoooooooo a house with no inlaws!!!!


    @ T-Nabs - are you going to FFOORRKKSS? If so, are you the driver????? I want to make sure I am prepared if you are ;) LOL

    Congrats on the new in-lawless digs!

    I like your hubby's moniker, Mr. T! LOL