I know you have all thought about it. Don't even try to tell me you haven't.
The Edward through the window fantasy is the best.

Alice, already having seen the light bulb’s impending burnout will get on the internet and immediately begin perusing for the best light bulb available for overnight shipment.

Carlisle will struggle with the idea that it might be his fault that the light bulb is burning out and whether or not he should have put the light bulb there in the first place.

Emmett will wonder why the hell everyone is so worked up about a light bulb and consider smashing it just so everyone will stop talking about it.

Rosalie will comment snarkily about the current light bulbs performance and how she should be allowed to choose the new brand of light bulb based on wattage and longevity.

Edward will broodily argue that it is just a light bulb and everyone should just respect its decision to burnout and leave it at that – then he will disappear into the other room and write the light bulb a lullaby.

Bella will whine about whether or not the light bulb ever really loved her as much as she loved it.

Jasper will stare at the light bulb sending it calming emotions so that it won’t be afraid while it burns out.

Jacob will befriend the old light bulb and comfort it while it is being abandoned by its family – secretly he hopes that he will be able to take it home and use it as his own.

Esme will shake her head at all of her crazy family members and replace the light bulb with a new one she already had in the closet.

So...you know we had to put our two or three cents in on the whole "Robsten" phenom. And to be totally honest, we are tired of all the haters. If we keep fucking with the two of them this can only end badly for us right? If they break up then all the chemistry will be null and void. So what if they are bumpin' uglies and swappin' love gravy...you would too if you were them!

So here's to all the haters.



PS. We love you bitches for watching our shit.

Twilight addiction is a growing concern amongst teen girls and adult women today. The immediate addictive qualities attached to the Twilight Saga written by Stephenie Meyer, is effecting more and more women everyday, however not much is currently known about the disease. The following information may help you better identify yourself or a loved one as a Twilight addict.

TwiNabler makes her TwiSoupy debut...WOOT!

Warning signs
If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you could have a Twilight abuse problem and may benefit from outside help:

Do you think often about Twilight while you are doing other activities?

Have friends, family members, or your employer expressed concerns about your Twilight obsession?

Has your Twilight obsession had a negative effect on any of the following areas of your life: relationships with family members and others - your work - physical health - mental health - recreational activities - finances (from the expense of Twilight related items) - legal situation (including but not limited to charges of stalking).

Do you or others notice a significant change in your personality when you are talking about Twilight or reading Twilight? Do you become extremely sad or extremely happy, or do you not care what is happening in your life?

Does your behavior change in other ways when you are using Twilight? Do you embarrass yourself or others? Do you become aggressive or violent toward others when they do not like Twilight? Do you withdraw from non Twilight loving people? Do you misuse work internet frequently for Twilight related 'research'?

Do you seek out activities that will include Twilight?

Is it hard for you to stop thinking about/watching/reading Twilight once you start?

Do you ever have trouble remembering periods of time when you've been abusing Twilight.

The importance of getting help
Twilight abuse is a progressive disease. The long-term health consequences can be devastating. Untreated Twilight addiction can lead to conditions like insomnia, internet addiction, hallucinations, delusions and damage to the brain. Continued Twilight abuse can lead to breathing problems, heart palpitations, mental health problems, and risks of death from overdose. Continued Twilight abuse can also result in serious family conflicts, loss of friendships, the delusion that Twilight characters are real, financial problems, and problems at work.

The sooner you seek professional help, the better your chances of avoiding or limiting long-term problems.

Twilight Addict Pic of the Week!

We are at your disposal people! We are ready, willing, and able to make complete asses of ourselves! Send us your favorite "You might be a Twilight addict if..." and we will make it happen on camera. No suggestion is too outlandish - we are crazy like that.

Welcome fellow obsessed to TwiSoup, a place where you can get your much needed Twilight nourishment in a delightfully creative rated R format.

It should go without saying that we are pretty much unaware of any social and/or politically correct boundaries. We never seek to offend, however I’m not promising anything at this point. Keep in mind everything we say, do, photograph, film, hijack, re-write, post, link or anything else I may have missed was done solely for the purpose of first and foremost making ourselves laugh our asses off. And thankfully, since you all find the same shit we do funny. . . we shouldn’t have any problems entertaining you as well.

Just a side note we would like to pay homage to those who came before us. To all the TwiBlogs out there we salute you and in no way want to piss all over your territory (well maybe a little but we are totally kickass I swear. . .we are self proclaimed creepers so that makes our stalkerish tendencies OK). And most of all, we bow humbly before the ladies of Twitarded. You are our hero’s and our inspiration. One day we hope to hunt your asses down and treat you both to a night full of sinful Twilight indulgence.

There are so many amazing TwiBlogs out there that have been my daily bumps and gummies without which I wouldn’t have been able to keep my Twilight high to the optimal level. I want to hump all of your hampers in thanks for keeping me alive these past few months. Considering how highly I hold all of the other blogs out there, you can imagine that I (and my bloggy counterparts Nameless and TwiNabler) are a tad bit nervous that we aren’t going to be as awesome as the rest of the pack. So here we are, unsure of what this blog may become but confident that we are going to make you laugh your RPatz loving asses off.

For now we have decided to spare you the introductions and prefer to instead thrust you into the meaty center of our mind warp. Now, TwiNabler asked me today, “Should we ease them into our fucked up sense of humor?” and I replied, “Um….hells to the no.”

So without further ado we would like to introduce our first installment of Dirty Seuss – Twilight Style!